ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
Speak Up!
Ever been in a meeting with something important to say and remained silent? You may have felt the flush of the good idea and the rising adrenalin. You may have moved to the front of your seat and readied your body to speak...and then didn't. What stopped you? Certainly there is wisdom in knowing when to speak and when not to. Knowing the politics of a situation or the time constraints, you may choose not to speak. Often, though, you may have a unique view, perspective, issue or concern that needs to be raised. That contribution would add a new dimension to the discussion or change the decision about to be made. You may feel strongly about a new policy and your silence allows folks to think you agree. Is that the message you wish to send? Recently I was involved in the creation of a new management team for a department of a public sector organization. This brought together four people who previously had felt that they were in a 'pecking order' and changed them into a cohesive decision-making team. Two of the four have strong opinions and are very comfortable expressing them. Two are very quiet. In forming the team, we discussed this dynamic. How are we each going to best contribute to the team? We talked about the possibility that the talkative two could overpower the silent two. In fact, they might even do the talking for them! Focusing on the fact that each person was hired because he or she is an expert in a distinct field, it was soon decided that each person's opinion was vital to good decision-making. The two who are quiet are very competent as are the others. Increasing their level of comfort with adding their voices to the group was important. Two things were agreed upon: every person would speak on every issue and each person would take responsibility for doing so. One of the natural 'talkers' offered to ask the quiet two for their opinions. This seems like a good idea on the surface, however, as a rule, it is a poor idea. Why is it a poor idea? Simple. If one person takes responsibility for the contributions of others there are two new kinds of control being encouraged. The 'talker' has control over when the others are asked for their opinions. The 'silent' could be waiting to be asked making their contribution the 'talkers' responsibility. Neither of these options are optimal. The important piece is that each person understands that he or she was hired to contribute his or her expertise and experience to the team. It is the responsibility of the individual to contribute. For the talkers that is easy. In fact, it is enjoyable. For the quiet folks, two things seemed to be true. One of them only felt it necessary to contribute if she disagreed with the direction of the conversation. The other is very shy. What to do? With some individual coaching for each team member, each began to monitor involvement in the meetings. For those for whom it was difficult, they undertook to at least say when they agreed or disagreed. For those for whom it was easy, they undertook to leave some airtime free. Often, it is a challenge to find a quiet moment to summon up the gumption to speak! When you have something you feel is important to contribute to a meeting, formulate your thoughts, take a deep breath and jump in. Nothing life-threatening will happen. It's a little like learning to swim. The first few times you may get a mouthful of water and sputter a little. You may find yourself gasping for air. You may flail around a little, but, with practice, things even out and you make progress. Yes, it may feel awkward. Yes, you may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But, jump in. You are there to offer your skills and learning. It is your responsibility. A tip or two about handling those who only value the sound of their own voices may be in order. They have to take a breath sometime. Be ready to step in and take that opportunity. AGREE WITH THEM. Beginning with 'I agree with _________ part of your opinion..." and go on to offer your thoughts. Being agreed with, even in part, will encourage them to listen to you. USE POSITIVE LANGUAGE. Tell folks what you think would be best and why rather than telling them what is wrong with their ideas. Again, you may capture their attention. HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR IDEAS. Work within yourself to clarify your thoughts prior to the meeting. You may even make some notes. Being prepared will make it more likely that you will have some energy behind your points of view and, therefore, be more likely to express them. BE BRIEF AND SPECIFIC. This is a great tip for everyone at the meeting. Stay on the topic and the point. Give your thoughts and reasons in short sentences, then stop and let others respond. This is the way business gets done! Who wants interminable meetings? Speak up! You have the right and responsibility to do so. About The Author Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, speaks, coaches & conducts seminars for organizations who want to motivate their people, and for individuals who want to achieve their dreams. For further articles, free ezines, upcoming teleseminars and booking information, visit http://www.OptimizeLifeNow.com today. For permission to reprint this article, please contact mailto:Jane@OptimizeLifeNow.com
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Other Peoples Opinions In a society where interaction is part of everyday life, and other people form a vital part of life, other people's opinions are actually important in where we fit into society. However, we often think we know what other people are thinking and base our actions around those 'apparent' opinions. Demanding Miracles Have you ever had an overwhelming problem or issue? Was there some circumstance in your life that seemed beyond your ability to handle it? Have you ever called out to God, Buddha, guardian angels, The Force, your higher self, Mohammed, Mother Earth, whatever name you give that spirit? To find an all-encompassing name without prejudice towards any one belief system, I'll just hereby use the word 'god' to refer to whatever or whoever it is that you pray to for assistance and guidance. Have you cried out to your god for help and guidance with some crisis in your life? Did you get an answer? Did you get help? How To Invite Positive Change In Your Life Gnothi seauton,, said Socrates. "Know thyself." How To Influence People Most of your success in life will come from your ability to deal effectively with other people. Your success will be determined by the number of people you know, and who know you in a favorable way. Everything you achieve will be through other men and women. These are people who will be there to assist you at the critical junctures of your life. Your ability to influence other people to act in your best interest is one of the most important skills you can ever develop to achieve happiness and success. Seeing Is Believing! - Visualize The Result In Your Life Today! "If you can see it, you can have it." Is it really so simple? The answer is 'Yes'...and 'No'. If you can see it, you already got your first step right but if you can't even see it, your first step would be fatal right from the start. Let me put this in perspective. If you cannot 'see' where you are heading in your direction or 'see' the end results that you want to achieve, most likely you would give up halfway or even if you did have results, you wouldn't reap the maximum result had you first 'seen' it in your mind with maximum clarity. Do You Have the Skills to be a Secret Service Agent? Do you have the necessary attributes to be a successful secret services agent? Do you melt into the background where no one can see you? Do you hide behind someone else? Would you describe yourself as having an incognito life? Are you capable of always putting yourself second? Do you constantly defer to another person? Do people see right through you and ignore you? How To Make Your Dreams Come True Editors Note: Family Circle Interview (2003) with Dr. Wayne Dyer: Dont Let Other Peoples Walls Fence You In "How's it going?" I asked the clerk in the new bookstore. "Well you know," she replied "it takes a long time to build a business." I caught myself just before I muttered in agreement and instead said, "Does it?". You see, the clerk is simply repeating a commonly held belief, a global belief that it takes a long time to build a business. This is not a fact just simply a belief and limiting one at that. Unfortunately, it is held by enough people that would begin to believe it's a fact. We are surrounded by limiting global beliefs. Throughout history, people have been held back by these beliefs. The world is flat, man cannot run a four-minute mile, man was not meant to fly and on and on until someone came along and disproved them. There is a commonly held belief that 80% of new businesses fail in their first five years. Four Steps to Attracting More Good Luck The Luck Factor rips apart the notion that luck is something that just happens. Dr. Wiseman reports on over three years of scientific inquiry into what is often considered the most unscientific topic of all. However, Dr. Wiseman suggests another reason for the lack of scientific research into luck: Our Fascination with Pop Culture and What It Says About Us I took a look at the top 500 hits on the Internet and found that at least 90% of them are related to pop culture. Who is dating who, singers, actors, gossip, etc. Why are we so fascinated with these larger than life stars? Why do we care? Create Your Own Luck I find it particularly disheartening when I hear someone refer to a person's success and achievements as simply luck. Or even worse... dumb luck. A Fun Way To Make A Living "You must be willing to do the things today others won't do, in order to have the things tomorrow others won't have." -Les Brown October: A Month of Personal Harvest October is hands down my favorite month. Every year l look forward to a visit to Lynd's Fruit Farm in Pataskala, Ohio. My husband and I get in the car on a crisp day and take in the leaves displaying their glorious colors as we travel the country road. Once we reach the farm, I pour through bushel baskets brimming with gourds and Indian corn, wander the pumpkin patch, and pluck ripe apples from the trees. In addition, I reflect upon the hard work that was put in months before by the Lynd's in anticipation of this one month of autumn abundance. Why Do We Settle? You Have the POWER to Change the Outcome Why do we settle for less and then make excuses for everyone? Perhaps it is a way to avoid confrontation, or it could be that we simply don't have time, or choose not to deal with poor customer service and the boss who promised a raise that never quite made its way to our paycheck. Those are some of the possibilities, but there is another option- we settle, or make excuses, for others because we have given away our power to the other person involved in the equation. This stuff makes me just a little nutty, so I thought I'd share a couple of stories with you and the offer my thoughts on how we can take back, or own our power- if you choose. Mind Your Mind Three Secrets to Effective Affirmations: 100 Ways to Keep Your Lover ? Happy ? At Home! Here are over 100 ideas to help you keep monogamy hot! The Art of Loving & Living The joy of living is in loving. No doubt, only lovers enjoy life! What the Samurai Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement A Seventeenth Century Samurai maxim states: Getting the Universe to Work for You Wouldn't it be great to know that you have something as enormous as the Universe working in your favor? To know that such a force was pushing for your success would mean that success was only a matter of WHEN, not IF. The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Most of us don't want to admit we have a dark side. And from that dark side we do attract some ugly stuff. I was given the gift of a vivid display of just how ugly my anger and feelings of injustice truly are.
|
|
|
|
|
