ComputerHunter.org

 

What Did You Say?


My table-mates introduced themselves as the reciprocal protocol began. We chatted about what we did, where we did it and what we thought of the conference. Stan joined the table as the chicken was served. He'd been introduced to me earlier and we'd talked briefly during the pre-dinner social. Now he was peppering me with intriguing business questions. This was going to be a lively and interesting discussion, I thought.

But my hopes vanished faster than an ice cube melting in the desert. I realized Stan wasn't listening. He didn't care what I had to say; he was waiting for his turn to talk. And talk he did, monopolizing the table's conversation with his back-patting soliloquy.

That experience got me thinking. My hopes had been raised believing that someone asking thoughtful questions might be interested in the answers. But that's a rare find in this too-busy-to-listen world. We're too busy answering our cell phones, checking our BlackBerries, and posting our instant messages. We're so busy communicating that we fail to communicate. We think because we said something, it was understood. We confuse communicating with understanding, and silence with listening.

But the absence of talking is not necessarily listening. Real listening requires focused attention and a quiet mind. It's deep, not surface. You do it to understand, not so you can talk when someone pauses. Deep listening comes from the heart, as well as the head.

Deep listeners ignite ideas, influence outcomes and build relationships. They're wonderful to be around. There are few behaviors more powerful in the workplace than receiving someone's focused attention on what you're saying. It makes you feel valued and respected because it's clear that what you have to say matters to them. Deep listeners create dialogues, encourage thoughtful exchanges and enhance creativity. They also build their careers.

I learned to deepen my listening skills by using a technique called reflective summary. So for example, if I said to you, "I had a flat tire on the way to work and missed my boss's meeting," the typical response might be, "Yeah, I had a tough morning, too." Or you might share a similar experience. But a reflective summary statement summarizes your understanding of what it is I said. So, you might respond, "You're concerned you missed your boss's meeting?" If you summarized my message correctly then I'd continue with my concerns. If not, I'd clarify. Either way, we'd improve our communication.

So, here's my bottom-line advice after twenty years in management. If you want to be winning at working, develop deep listening skills. You see, people who are winning at working know they learn more by listening than talking; persuade more by understanding than arguing; and problem-solve more by asking than telling. People who are winning at working have discovered the power of listening.

(c) 2005 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

Sign up to receive Nan's free biweekly eColumn at http://www.winningatworking.com Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan has a B.A. from Stanford University and M.A. from the University of Michigan. Currently working on her first book, Winning at Working: 10 Lessons Shared, Nan is a writer, columnist, small business owner, and instructor. Visit http://www.nanrussell.com or contact Nan at info@nanrussell.com







Google News - Top Stories

Financial Post

Ford Motor Asks Congress for $9 Billion Credit Line (Update4)
Bloomberg - 1 hour ago
By John Hughes and Laura Litvan Dec. 2 (Bloomberg) -- Ford Motor Co. asked Congress for a credit line of as much as $9 billion, saying it expects to break even or be profitable before taxes in 2011.
UPDATE: Ford Asks For $9 Billion Backstop Loan; Aims For '11 Profit CNNMoney.com
Ford Makes Concessions in Effort to Get Government Help Washington Post
New York Times - Reuters - Bizjournals.com - BusinessWeek
all 2,116 news articles


USA Today

Poll: Americans feel good about Obama, Cabinet choices
USA Today - 51 minutes ago
By Susan Page, USA TODAY WASHINGTON - President-elect Barack Obama is riding a wave of good feeling toward him and his key Cabinet appointments, a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll finds - positive attitudes that may give him some breathing room for tough ...
Video: Obama Picks Gates, Clinton for Foreign Policy AssociatedPress
UPDATE 1-Obama to name Richardson to head Commerce Dept. Reuters
FOXNews - Washington Post - Financial Times - AFP
all 3,294 news articles


Seattle Post Intelligencer

Obama Promises Quick Relief for Governors
New York Times - 30 minutes ago
President-elect Barack Obama with Gov. Edward G. Rendell of Pennsylvania at a conference of the National Governors Association in Philadelphia on Tuesday.
Governors urge Obama to help the poor, boost economy Reuters
Obama Asks Governors for Input on Stimulus Proposals Wall Street Journal
CNN - The Associated Press - Dallas Morning News
all 1,404 news articles


The Miami Herald

Martinez will not seek re-election
Bizjournals.com - 30 minutes ago
Sen. Mel Martinez will not run for re-election in 2010. Florida’s junior senator, a Republican from Orlando who was born in Cuba, was elected to the US Senate in 2004.
Mel Martinez won't seek Senate reelection The Miami Herald
Florida’s Martinez Says He Won’t Seek Re-Election to Senate Bloomberg
MyFoxOrlando.com - Sarasota Herald-Tribune - Southern Political Report - CQPolitics.com
all 383 news articles


Washington Post

Report: World at Risk of Bio, Nuke Attack
ABC News - 37 minutes ago
By JASON RYAN A biological or nuclear attack is likely to occur somewhere around the globe during the Obama administration or shortly thereafter, a new congressionally mandated report has warned.
Report warns Barack Obama to brace himself for a terrorist attack Times Online
US Congressional Panel to Present Report on WMD Threat Voice of America
CNN International - College News - CQPolitics.com
all 561 news articles

Google
 

Copyright © 2006 Computer Hunter - A Division of Arthur´s Job Base