ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 1)
He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession is even older than the world's oldest profession. He's been loathed and reviled by politicians, bureaucrats and hot dog vendors. I am speaking, of course, of the public nuisance. He was that slithery dude in the Garden of Eden, taunting folks to shoplift. "Go on. Take a bite of the apple. The grocer will never know it's misssssing." Even in caveman days, the public nuisance was the one who would always have a practical joke to play on somebody. "Hee, hee. Thag not looking. I go paint his fire green so it look like bush. He no be able to find fire. Hee, hee. OUCH! Ooh. Ooh. Yowwww. That hot!" He is the opinionated loudmouth who can't keep his trap shut. "I told Caesar the Coliseum should be built on the west side of town. 'Caesar,' I said. 'The Coliseum should be built on the west side of town.' But did he listen to me? No-o. Did he build the Coliseum on the west side of town? No-o." "So...that's why the lions are drooling on the other side of that door?" "Ah...well, yes, actually." The public nuisance is that whiner who can't stop complaining about the weather. "Aw, c'mon Leonardo. Why don't you invent something useful, for a change? Like better weather." "What's wrong with the weather?" "What's wrong? What's wrong?! It's too cold when I want it to be too hot. It's too hot when I want it to be too cold. It rains when I work in the fields. It gets dry when the crops need rain. And did you see how the wind blew the other night..." The public nuisance has been with us throughout the ages, playing music too loud in public places. "What's that racket?" "I think some teenagers are playing their lutes a little loud." "Well how's a middle-aged lady supposed to get any sleep around here?" "But what can I do?" "You're a knight, for goodness sake. Get your horse and your lance and run them down. " But, like all good things, even the public nuisance has been transformed by technological advances. We no longer rely on manual labor to provide public nuisance services to the population. Machines supply all the disturbance we could possibly desire. Automation of the public nuisance was inevitable. As cities expanded, it was getting harder and harder for the public nuisance to be everywhere at once and provide adequate disturbance to the entire population. It was also very inefficient to have individual public nuisances repeating the same tasks in each part of town. And then there was the issue of quality control. Who would ensure that all the public nuisances were serving the community to the same standards? Who would ensure accountability and integrity? Some public nuisances have been known to take payola. "Hey. You. What's that stench?" "I'm just cracking a few eggs to throw at your house." "Why at my house? What did I do?" "Nothing. But you have a fancy house and I figured you would be most willing to provide me an incentive to throw them somewhere else." "What!? This is extortion!" "Yes." "I see. Well, Smithers down the road has been way too uppity this week, so here's a little something to go be a his public nuisance tonight." "Thank you, Sir. It's been a pleasure disturbing you." I was stumped. I really had no idea how to end this column. "Maybe the public nuisance should be a she," I mused "Why a she?" my wife asked. "Because people complain if I just assume my characters are "he". The trouble is, whenever I make them "she", somebody wants to know why I'm picking on women." "They would if you make the public nuisance a woman," my wife observed. "Are you saying women are never nuisances?" "Everybody knows that you men cause all the public disturbances," my wife poked me. "That's because men get bored you women try on more clothes and more clothes and more clothes. We are just trying to keep things interesting" "Men have such a short attention span..." Suddenly I knew how to end the column: In our household, we have no need for a public nuisance ? automated or manual. We each have our own private nuisance, whom we love very much. "That's no way to end a column," my private nuisance insisted. "Why not tell them about how you would get rid of public nuisances once and for all?" "Shhh. Don't tell them. That's next week's column." About The Author David Leonhardt is a freelance writer: http://www.seo-writer.net/freelance/writer.html And an SEO consultant: http://www.seo-writer.net/freelance/seo-consultant.html He is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?isbn=0-595-17826-X Read more personal growth articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
A Fresh Look at the Choices We Make We are frequently held back from making future plans or reaching goals based on the perceived wrongness of choices we've made in the past. I want to give you something to think about. The Power of Online Memberships Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be south for the winter, or back home in the spring? Worth Waiting For Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 22, 2002 Can I Be My Own ADD Coach? Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss acting as an ADD Coach for their child or spouse. While supporting and helping loved ones with ADD is a great idea, acting as an ADD Coach really isn't a great idea. There is just way too much emotion involved and an ADD Coach needs to be far enough removed from the situation to be an effective ADD Coach. Top Ten Tips for Living Authentically 1. Know your purpose Change the Words and Change the World Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. Burk 5 Keys to Powerful Communication As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, "If I just don't say anything, I can get past it"? Key Questions for a Coaching Conversation There are 2 key skills that coaches need to be truly effective, the ability to listen (often for what is missing rather than what is said) and the ability to ask the right question at the right time. Success Secrets - The #1 Money Secret I Learned from Interviewing Over 23 Millionaires All over the Net, people are asking you to pay them for 'get rich' secrets, all the 'systems' have different names. Have you ever asked yourself this question, how many of them are really rich? Maybe a few, right? HR Professional in New Avtaar: HR as a Coach and Mentor Introduction You Can Get There From Here But first you've got to raise your standards. Communicating with Case Studies Not long ago, I made a partnership pitch, on behalf of an organization I represent, to another organization with similar interests. If the idea had come to fruition, it would have radically changed our organization. Transform Your Image And Accelerate Your Success Being a lifelong student, I am regularly attending seminars etc. to become the best I can be in all areas of my life. Guilt: Is it Getting in the Way of Your Self-Care? When Do We Usually Feel Guilty? When: Coaching for Results He's a very successful sales manger who craves results. He can't be bothered with people who don't produce. They are losers. He always produces the numbers year after year. The question is does he do it through bullying or coaching? The Incredible Human Psyche The intriguing Human psyche - more complex than the metamorphosing cocoon, and more phenomenal than the human brain could ever imagine. A Call To Do Better I'm calling you out. Issuing a Challenge. Relax, It's not to a dual or anything quite that complicated or dramatic. Automatic Brain Works Overtime For You Use all of your brain to be your most effective. Business Career, Executive Coaching Article - Leadership: Understanding the Human Condition "Nothing is more practical than for people to deepen themselves. The more you understand the human condition the more effective you are as a businessperson. Human depth makes business sense." The American Dream ? Are We Really Free? The promises of THE AMERICAN DREAM (to have it all and enjoy it all, based on materialistic values system) has been holding us captive and threatening to take our power and freedom away- without our awareness, like a thief in the night.
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by John S. Baick
