ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
Recreating Yourself
So it's time for a change. You've taken that hard look in the mirror and you've decided that who you are is not who you want to be. Or perhaps you're standing at a fork in the road and where you'd like to go requires that you make some changes. Maybe you're just really bored with your life as you've been in that same old rut for so long that you just want to scream if you spend another day doing the same amazingly boring things all over again. The reasons for change are as varied as the people making the decision to do so. The only thing you have to remember is that the change must come from you, not from someone else. And it can't be a gift to someone else, it won't work. Ultimately, recreating ourselves is a very personal choice and a very personal decision that others really can't help us with. Your wife thinks you drink too much and should quit. Your parents think you screw off too much and need to pull better grades. Your boss thinks you're a slacker and you need to be more professional. If the people in your life are hammering you to change, then it may be time to take a long hard look in the mirror. To some extent you have to be open to the idea that they may be right. However, they aren't you. They can't walk in your shoes. Nobody can completely totally understand another person. Only you really know what is right for you. Only you can pick your path in life, who you choose to walk with along the way, and what kind of person you are while traveling. Some people are misunderstood visionary geniuses. Others are simply rebellious and lazy. Most of us fall somewhere in between. You cannot let others dictate who or what you are to become. The choice to recreate yourself must come from within. Now if you've looked deep within and you've decided that you want to change because you would be happier, then it's time to start. My personal moment came when I realized that I was only twenty-five and was never ever going to fall in love again and was going to be shattered and heartbroken for another fifty years or so before I'd finally get to roll over and die. A very morbid thought I know, but that's exactly my point. At some point you do the math asking yourself, "If I stay just like this - on this path - with this mindset - with this income level - with these people surrounding me - with this lifestyle - How will my life look in five years? In ten? In fifty?" It can be an incredibly sobering and depressing answer. Mine was, so I made a decision to change who I was so that the next fifty years would at least be different with a chance of happiness. I think we can safely assume that if you're reading this, then you aren't one of those people who is happily moving through life on a path they love, with people they love, and an attitude that is a joy to behold. If that is you, thank you! Please continue to role model it for everyone else and whenever possible cheer someone on as they make the changes to do the same. As for the rest of us who've hit that point where after analysis we've decided to make a fresh start as someone else other than who we are, where do we start? The first thing I would recommend is looking at your natural gifts. In some other articles I've given some exercises and such to find some of the core pieces of yourself. It doesn't matter if you take some of those personality tests like the Meyers-Briggs or any others. The idea is that there are certain core aspects of ourselves that are never really going to change very much. For example, you like to work alone or as part of a team. You may be extremely introverted or extroverted. You may be incredibly musical or you may be very mathematical. Whatever the gifts and challenges you were born with are what they are. Recreating yourself isn't about denying the root of who you are. It's about molding and shaping the other things like attitude and such. I wanted to become one of those people who had lots of self-confidence and was dynamic and bubbly. I wanted to be one of those people who could laugh out loud at a joke and not feel self-conscious that I might sound like a donkey - hee haaaaaw!! Along with picking a new career path that flattered my real skills and the lifestyle I wanted to move towards, I began pretending that I was one of those women who walked tall and proud. I pretended that people liked me and found me fascinating. I pretended that I had my act together. There came a day about a year later when I realized that I wasn't faking it anymore. I've been quite a character ever since! Now a word of warning... sometimes the people who knew us before we made all of the personal changes refuse to see us as new and improved. That's especially true of family members. They knew you when you were a whiny kid. They knew you when you went through that really bad divorce and turned into a real nutcase. Sometimes they have their own ugly issues to work out and are bitter that you are role modeling positive changes. This is easier said then done, but believe me when I say this - It's none of your business what they think of you. You didn't change yourself so that they would like you better. You changed so that you would like you better. Hold your head up high and laugh out loud with confidence and joy. Don't allow anyone to take your new life away from you. Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge About The Author Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To download free previews of her books, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Why Pacing and Leading is for Wimps! Okay, you have read some books on body language and they all said you must mirror and match, pace and lead.... Greasing the Path to Success: Finding the Confidence to Step Up to Key Moments Whether it's making a prospecting call to a promising business contact, giving an informal "elevator speech" to a networking group, or attempting to close a transaction, there are certain key moments when putting your best-dressed foot forward really matters. Some of life's fortunate people seem to be naturally at their best finding confidence under pressure. The rest of us have to learn. The Student Who Knew Too Much This article is for those of you who coach or mentor. Does this sound familiar? What Does It Take To Have It All In Life? Many people have asked me why I wrote my book, 'The Street Kid's Guide to Having it All', and I realized that some people simply do not believe that it is possible to 'have it all'. Well, I am here as an ambassador to dispel that rumor once and for all. Do You Dither in Your Job Search? I looked up the definition of "to dither" before writing this article. It is to be agitated and in a nervous state. Invest Your Inner Wealth It started out like any other Wednesday - reports to type, telephones to answer, books to balance. When the clock finally struck 4:30 p.m., Lauren locked her desk and wearily made her way to the fast-food café where she waited on tables several evenings a week. As a single mother struggling to make ends meet, Lauren's days were an endless blur of typewriters, ringing telephones and demanding children. Potential One of the most often mis-understood aspects of self-development is the concept of potential. We are often told that we can achieve our full potential, however, what does this really mean? When the focus is building self-esteem and motivating individuals to do better, there is often the implication that potential is a destination or an end-point that can be reached, and if we just strive for "it", we will reach "it". But, what is "it"? Passport to Passion Passion is a feeling of excitement and intensity. The energy of passion fuels a fulfilled life, and supports the growth and development of our personal purpose and potential. When was the last time you felt pure passion? Do you even know what you're passionate about? Would you recognize an opportunity to reconnect with your personal passion if one presented itself? Our Perception Determines Our Experience Not long ago, I traveled back east to Ohio and Chicago. While I was there, I was amazed that the friends I made along my journey seemed to have completely different observations of the state in which they lived. Make Your Life Easier? 'Have you read the Art of War?' someone asked me once. Fighting someone to get your way is definitely a valid strategy. But you don't need me to tell you about that one - we've all been arguing and manipulating to get our own way since we were born! And you may have noticed - often when you push, the other person pushes back! Wars have been fought, relationships lost, and many ulcers create with this kind of energy. Expectations Can Get In Our Way There are times when we truly look forward to something just as there are times when we totally dread something. What is the difference between anticipation with joy and anticipation with anxiety? Where and how does that expectation actually take place? If we think about it, the expectations take place in our minds. And, what that really means is that we totally make it up. We tend to create ideas and stories about how wonderful or awful something might be. 5 Steps to Derail Difficult People - Your Surefire Way to a Peaceful Resolution That one guy at work that always has to be right; your buddy's wife who can't eat anywhere they serve burgers, or the monster-in-law, I mean mother-in-law, with too many opinions for your own good, difficult people, we all know them. So the question is, is there a right and a wrong way to deal with them? The answer is yes, if you want to avoid unnecessary confrontations. Creating Supportive Environments I'm writing this on my laptop in a Cosi café in Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C. The reason I am here has nothing to do with me or my business, but the reason I can continue to be successful in my work is because I have set myself up to do so. How? By creating supportive environments. In this case, the laptop, the appropriate software, and the ability to connect to the Internet, as well as the support of my husband, all contribute positively to my accomplishment of the task: writing and submitting this column on deadline and without stress. What Rules! There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine. How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things Over How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things Over How to Jump-start Your Emotional Health You've probably heard the expression: "It's not what you're eating. It's what's eating you!" This well-known saying reminds us that the thoughts we entertain can have an impact on our health. Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You Have you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren't a certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms that were so apparent to you. I know I have. Voice Care for Coaches Coaches rely heavily on their voice to service clients. If you also give teleclasses or workshops, voice maintenance needs to be one of their top self-care priorities. This information also applies to singers, speakers, or sales professionals. Are You Addicted To Your Activities? Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV, meditation - can be a wonderful way to relax, express yourself, or connect to yourself. Or they can be an addiction. How can you know the difference? 5 Keys to Powerful Communication As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, "If I just don't say anything, I can get past it"?
|
|
|
|
|
