ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
Coming Out... As an Internet Dater
A few weeks ago I was having lunch with a casual acquaintance. As we were chatting, she mentioned her new boyfriend, Adam. "Oh," I asked. "How did you two meet?" She looked around and said, "Well, I guess I can tell you. I mean, he tells everyone." And then she lowered her voice slightly, "We met online." Now, to me, the phrase, we met online is not one that warrants a lowered voice and furtive glance around the room before being uttered. But, apparently admitting to meeting over the internet has not quite become the stuff of polite conversation. In reality, this shouldn't be that surprising. There are some long-standing stigmas attached to this type of coupling; often holdovers from the days of newspaper personal ads and video dating services. My first encounter with personal ad dating came when I was a teenager. I was at an older cousin's wedding. At one point during the reception, my mother whispered to me, "You know, they met through the personal ads." Forgetting my whereabouts I loudly repeated, "The personals?" only to get a sound motherly shushing. But, I was confused. My cousin didn't seem desperate. Or weird for that matter. Weren't those the types of people who did this? Now, granted I was a teenager and not fully versed in the ways of the world, but I would hazard a guess that I wasn't the only one under the impression that only desperate divorcees and perverted polygamists would place an ad looking for a date. Of course, it was more likely than not the daters in question were simply busy people with specific needs and interests whose social lives had not yet presented them with an appropriate match. Just like internet daters today. Now that internet dating has been going strong for nearly a decade, people are coming around to the idea that there is no more shame in meeting someone online that there is in meeting someone through a friend, at a bar or over the office water cooler. My friend Andy and his live-in-love met on an internet dating site a few years ago. However, this wasn't initially what they told people, instead concocting a tale about meeting in a park on their way to work. Eventually, the happy couple felt silly perpetuating the fabricated story and outed themselves to friends and family. Not surprisingly, the only negative reactions came from people who didn't understand why they had invented the park fable in the first place. Still, as Andy says, "In the beginning we felt a little pathetic, like we had to go online to get a date. And, I know Jen was worried that people would think we had just been looking for a hook up. But, we got over that pretty quick!" Many internet daters see these qualms as being decidedly out of touch. Twenty-seven year-old Ilana explains, "I have no problem telling people I'm doing Internet dating because everyone's doing it. I think the fact the people do everything on the Internet makes it seem totally natural. You do all your communication on the internet. All your research on the Internet. Make all your plans on the Internet, so why not find someone to date on the internet?" Why not indeed? There's plenty of stuff out there to feel legitimately embarrassed about, an addiction to reality television and our love of Les Miserables for example. Online dating doesn't need to be added to that list. Who knows, in a few years, the idea of going out with someone without first being able to check his or her profile might seem positively pass. Ellen Friedrichs is a dating advisor for MetroChai. To read more articles and tips visit our blog at http://nydating.blogspot.com/ For free online dating visit http://www.metrochai.com
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How To Choose a Dating Service There are so many dating sites out there, hundreds if not thousands, how do you even begin to decide where to register and start your online dating experience? Online Dating - Is Music the Food of Love? "If music be the food of love, play on". So said William Shakespeare in one of his most famous theatrical lines. The Bard understood very well the power music has to ignite passion and elicit emotional response. And who would disagree? Basic SMS Tips for Picking Up the Women of Your Dreams I don't know if the craze of SMS has caught on around the world but many, many people use it here in New Zealand and everyone SMS's each other. I thought it was only right to share a few tips when replying to girls. These will seem stupid to some people who are experienced with this type of stuff, and to others they might find them helpful. If You Really Need A Dating Quiz, Maybe You Shouldnt Be Dating Q. My boyfriend failed a dating quiz. Should I dump him? Love Could Be An Errand Away You have signed up on several large dating sites and posted a great profile. So far, you've had some nice responses, but these haven't led to a meeting yet. Someone told you about a singles group at your church and there is an organization in your city for singles who want to volunteer, and hopefully meet other like-minded people. You've lost count of all the parties, happy hours and clubs you've been to, hoping to meet compatible singles. Whew! It's a lot of effort just to be in the right place at the right time with the right people. Single Sites Are A Great Tool To Network And Develop Fun And Spontaneous Relationships Online If you're tired of the boring and repetitive local dating scenes, then you should consider trying single sites to meet people with your interests alike! Dating ? What to Do on Your First Date Dating at first is fun but as it goes on it's easy to fall into a rut. You always go out to dinner or a movie or stay home and rent videos but you are feeling kind of bored. The boredom may not be because of your dating partner it could be that you have fallen into a comfortable pattern. Self-Esteem It begins with you, and your attitude. There are a lot of misconceptions about what type of guys women date. Most guys start thinking, oh they only date the rich guys with thick wallets, or those supermodel guys who look super hot. First off, if you're looking to find a date, you need to stop comparing yourself to other guys. This show isn't about those guys with Porsches and Ferrari's, it's about you. She Rejected You: Some Reasons Why It Happened & What You Can Do? There is just something that makes women NOT get attracted to men who have lower STATUS than themselves. There is always tension when a lady is taller than her man, she makes more money than him or when a guy is being 'led around' by his girlfriend or wife.. Top 10 reasons to Find a Date Online I'm often surprised by the number of people who are unsure if online dating is right for them. I think online dating is great way for just about anybody to meet new people. Lets take a look at my top ten reasons for dating online. Online Dating The online dating world today can be a confusing place to be. As more people flock online, there are companies ever more eager to jump on the dating bandwagon. This has lead to literally thousands of dating sites springing up online. How To Approach Women Now, let's start at the very beginning, what's the first thing you have to do before starting a conversation with a girl? Yeah, right, approach her! That's the first step you have to take - how to approach woman. Succeed in this direction and you can move on to the conversation part or else, kiss your chances with this particular girl good bye. 5 Signs Why He Wont Leave His Wife Ladies Dating: How & Where To Meet Single, Alluring, Sexy & Beautiful Women Of Your Dreams Are you a lonely man? The Cyber Lothario Are you writing to someone who is romancing you off your feet? Does this guy seem to know just what to say or write that gets you a step or two further down the garden path? Single Women Are Hot Just when businesses and advertisers think they have women all figured out enters a new category with serious buying power: the single woman. It is projected that in 2005 single women will spend $400 million dollars which has the business world standing up and taking notice. Do It And They Will Come: Pursuing New Adventures To Find Mr / Ms Right Are you tired of the whole dating scene? Have you spent many hours (years) going to parties and events with the hope of meeting compatible and available singles? If so, now may be time to think about doing something different. Really different. Great Tips For A Safe Online Dating Experience Dating can be scary no matter how or where you meet. Maybe he hasn't shaved in five years. Perhaps, she has a reputation as the Black Widow after never being called back for a second date. Any date is a toss up. Dating is sort of how Forrest Gump described life; it's like a box of chocolates because you never know what you're going to get. Russian Women - TOP 3 Reasons You Should Marry A Russian Woman Do you know everything about Russian women that could help you get the 'perfect' wife? Tips For Becoming Fluent In The Non-Verbal Language Of Dating We are all too familiar with the term "body language". There have been books, workshops and endless discussions spawned by it.
|
|
|
|
|
