ComputerHunter.org

 

t Blow Your Nose In The Water Fountain


We all know the general rules of the gym: don't drop the weights, wipe your sweat off the machines when you're done, etc. But do you know all about the more "colorful", lesser known rules of the gym?

NOTE: These rules are JOKES! If you ever see any of these rules posted at any gym you ever go to, please take a picture for me!

1. Don't blow your nose in the water fountain.

This is a crude habit and can contribute to the spread of colds and viruses. Besides, that's what the gym towels are for...

2. No smoking on the cardio machines.

Those little circular spots are water-bottle holders, not ashtrays. If you need a cigarette that badly when you're working out, tape one to the pulldown bar and take a drag on it as a reward for each rep you do.

3. When spotting someone on bench press, be sure to wipe your face first.

You are not a stalactite, and dripping sweat into someone's eye is not a good way to make friends.

4. If you choose to wear cologne or perfume to the gym, please don't marinate in it.

If the person on the stair machine next to you lights up a cigarette, you could both be seriously injured.

5. Those stands that have all the weight plates on them should not be used for holding your donuts.

Your donuts will end up with a terrible metallic taste that even the coffee in your water bottle won't be able to get out of your mouth.

6. The Crunch Machine is not a vending machine for candy bars.

Please don't try to put money into this machine. It's for working your abdominals. You will never, EVER get a Nestle's Crunch bar out of it.

7. Even though the gym has stair machines, it is not required by law to have elevator machines.

Please stop asking about this at the reception desk.

8. Pick up after your dog when you walk him on the treadmill.

No explanation necessary.

9. If you have a habit of spraying spit when you lift, ensure there is no one in your target area.

It's bad enough that the mirrors by the squat rack look like a St. Bernard shook himself in front of them.

10. Do not give yourself C.P.R. when doing bench presses.

Bouncing the bar heavily off your ribcage instead of pressing it properly may cause damage to the bar and voids the warranty on the bench. Besides that, you don't want your spotter feeling as though he's dribbling a barbell down the court do you?

11. Beer and/or liquor in your water bottle are prohibited.

Unless, of course, you bring enough for everybody. This also goes for mochaccinos, frappaccinos, and anything with an umbrella in it.

12. Use the rowing machine at your own risk.

If it sinks, there are no lifeguards on duty.

Following these rules to the best of your ability will ensure a pleasant exercise experience for everyone.

Thank you.

About The Author

Nick Nilsson is Vice President of BetterU, Inc., an online exercise, fitness, and personal training company. Check out his latest eBook "The Best Exercises You've Never Heard Of" at http://www.thebestexercises.com or visit http://www.fitstep.com. You can contact him at betteru@fitstep.com or subscribe to BetterU News, his fitness newsletter at betterunews@fitstep.com.







Google News - Top Stories

ABC News

AT A GLANCE: US Auto Makers Make Loan Pitch As Sales Plunge
CNNMoney.com - 40 minutes ago
Detroit's auto makers on Tuesday presented wide-ranging restructuring plans to Congress in hopes of qualifying for a combined $34 billion in low-cost loans from the federal government.
Detroit's Big New Bailout Bill Forbes
Can America Survive Without Detroit? BusinessWeek
Reuters - Bloomberg - International Herald Tribune - MarketWatch
all 2,320 news articles


Sydney Morning Herald

Chained teen shows up at Calif. gym, 2 arrested
Newsweek - 1 hour ago
2 arrested in Calif. after teen shows up bruised and chained, says was held for months By SUDHIN THANAWALA Associated Press Writer | AP Please fill in the following information and we'll email this link.
Police Charge Couple Chained, Tortured Boy ABC News
Chained teen shows up at Calif. gym; 2 arrested The Associated Press
San Jose Mercury News - San Francisco Chronicle - USA Today - Sacramento Bee
all 805 news articles


Washington Post

Obama, governors share plans for boosting public-works jobs
Christian Science Monitor - 2 hours ago
The National Governors Association, meeting Tuesday, says $136 billion in road, bridge, and transit projects are ready to go, but just need funding.
Forget bailouts: Governors urge Obama to spend on infrastructure The Miami Herald
Meltdown 101: How aid to states could lift economy The Associated Press
U.S. News & World Report - Bizjournals.com - The Oregonian - OregonLive.com - NECN
all 1,815 news articles


USA Today

Poll: Americans feel good about Obama, Cabinet choices
USA Today - 5 hours ago
By Susan Page, USA TODAY WASHINGTON - President-elect Barack Obama is riding a wave of good feeling toward him and his key Cabinet appointments, a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll finds - positive attitudes that may give him some breathing room for tough ...
Obama-Clinton Relationship Will Bring New Dynamic to White House Voice of America
Gallup: Americans Give Obama Transition the Thumbs Up Washington Post
U.S. News & World Report - Legal News Line - New York Daily News - ABC News
all 2,309 news articles


ABC News

Pakistan Army Link to Mumbai Suspects May Hurt Zardari Pledge
Bloomberg - 2 hours ago
By James Rupert Dec. 3 (Bloomberg) -- Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari has promised full cooperation in investigating any role by his countrymen in last week’s terrorist attack in Mumbai.
US Renews Call for Pakistani Cooperation in Mumbai Attack ... Voice of America
US says Pakistani-based group likely hit Mumbai Reuters
The Associated Press - Christian Science Monitor - International Herald Tribune - The Post
all 2,449 news articles

Google
 

Copyright © 2006 Computer Hunter - A Division of Arthur´s Job Base