ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
To See Or Not To See
I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. It turned out to also be a reality picture checkup. I enter the office to be greeted by the receptionist, "Can I help you?" "I hope so." I reply, "I'd like to have the doctor check my eyes and write me a prescription so I can get some new glasses." "He can't see you today," the receptionist tells me. "Something wrong with his eyes?" I ask with a smile. "Pardon me?" "Why can't he see me today? Does he have temporary blindness?" "No, he is too busy to see you." "I've been really busy a couple of times in my life and I never noticed any difference in my sight." "What are you talking about?" she asks. "Impaired vision." I answer. "Well, you are in the right place," she says. "But not the right time it appears," I counter. "Looks that way," she affirms. "Will he be able to see me tomorrow then?" "No, he can't see you tomorrow. He won't be here." "I see." I say. "How about the day after tomorrow? He can see you then." she asks. "He can see into the future?" "Is there something wrong with you?" "Well, I am a little nearsighted," I reply. "Do you want an appointment to see the doctor or not?" "Yes, I would." "What time?" "How about now?" "I think you also need to get your hearing tested," she tells me. "I already told you that he can't see you now. You need to have an appointment." "But I do have an appointment," I tell her. "What?" "I am here for my 11 o'clock appointment." "You have an appointment for now?" "Yes, that's why I am here." "I don't see you in my appointment book," she tells me. "The doctor can't see me and you don't see me. I feel like I am invisible." "Did you make an appointment?" "Yes." "When?" "Now, today at 11." "It is not in my book." "Most occurrences in life are not in your book." "Pardon me?" "Do you have a lunch date for today in your appointment book?" I ask. "What? No, I do not." "You see? That's great. I'll take you to lunch right after my appointment." "Ok. Ok. I give up," she tells me, "No lunch date, but you can see the doctor next." "You're sweet," I tell her. "You're crazy," she tells me. My prescription ends up being unchanged since my last eye examination five years ago. The doctor can also see just fine. He wants to read my books. © Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide. Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com Reprinting and republishing of these articles is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Setting History Straight Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the name Artie Seymour? Probably not. But you will, you will, when the word gets around about how these two inglorious talents were by-passed, how they missed being touched by the magic wand of Fate. For contrary to popular belief, the series of light operettas commonly attributed to Gilbert and Sullivan were in effect written by the pair of nonentities named above, Artie being the melodist and Will the versifier. Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05 Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? ? Former Student Eye Spy Potatoes Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my contact lenses still in my eyes. And by "lately," I mean for the past seven years. This, in a lot of ways, is the pinnacle of laziness because the removal of contacts takes no more than a minute or two, or three hours if it's your first time. But I've come to the conclusion this morning that there is a reason I fail to remove the contacts: deep down, I am hoping to find certain people in my dreams. So if I have the contacts on my eyes, then perhaps my eyes will be able to contact them. Isn't logic wonderful? I am pretty sure, in fact, that if I never remove my contacts, a telephone may become a thing of the past... The Language of Appalachia Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few years ago and learned that I do, indeed, have an accent. You see, unlike my paternal grandmother, I don't stretch the word "cornbread" into four syllables. She might say, "Here. Have ye some co-orn-bray-ed;" whereas I might say, "You want some corn-bread?" See? Two syllables on the cornbread; "you" rather than "ye." Cloning Advantage Super Families As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves in an interesting predicament. We see the need of self to extend past one's own lifetime as an innate characteristic; self-preservation has always been one of mankind's greatest drivers of motivation. World Religions in their haste to rally group support and social order amongst the masses have in fact been able to capitalize on this to a large degree, purposing the idea of eternal salvation for a promise of the individual in this life time to do as they are told and live their life in a certain way. That certain way includes among other things; not upsetting the current hierarchy of power. Human Beings obviously have questions which need to be answered such as; How did I get here, How did all this begin, what happens to me when I die and what will happen to the entirety of all I see in the end, when will it all end. World Religions can use these needs of the individual to know such things as a lever to control their psyche, by carefully answering all those questions in some sort of believable and yet un-provable way. Of course over time as more scientific light is shed on various subjects these religions must adapt their story line a bit to keep all the believers buying the storyline. Most of the most successful religions have done a good job of using vague comments on the answers so that they are able to adapt over time. Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp To: Maybelle Misfire From: I. M.. Power, VP Welcome aboard! Delighted you have accepted a position as planning analyst with Mega Corp. See you in September, as they say. Laughing Toward Truth: Six Tips for Lighthearted Thinkers Do you believe in the power of your convictions? The Zapp Principle My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was always a mess. This time it was a lightly charred mess, covered with extinguisher gloop. Abdul the camel seemed happy enough though, despite his smoking bum fur. Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way."). Bad Days and Bad Timing Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most inappropriate moments? Well, let me tell you, it's not just the little ones that spout off with remarks that make you want to don a cloak of invisibility. How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading! We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Later in life, we want to be seen and noticed by friends and family. And when running most any type of business, we must attract the attention of our potential customers. Finding Lost Children A couple of days ago I had to go to a dealership to get my car fixed. I am not implying that I don't want my car to have children, because who am I to make that choice? More so, I was sent a letter about a recall on one of the parts (the hazards, actually), meaning that the dealership was obligated to fix my car while I watched television and drank free coffee from a vending machine? Pee Here Now Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history. Tales of a Spectator Spectator Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self- contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race . Its All About Seeing the Signs Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest of us from doing so. In fact, on a regular basis, I see a lot of signs - and I don't like most of them. With that in mind, I thought I'd take this week's column to reveal a few examples: Sell [Your] Phones Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around 11 years old, on a cell phone. She was walking along the side of the street talking to someone, and I couldn't help but think that maybe she was talking to someone across the street because she wasn't allowed to cross it. Whatever the reason, though, there is something about an 11-year-old on a cell phone that legitimately scares me, and it has nothing to do with the fact that she is probably getting more calls than I am... Military Wives I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president. I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, "We band of brothers" and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic. (I am of course referring to wives in the singular sense.) So let us, as Abraham Lincoln said, "Cast aside our differences" and as the modern day philosopher Marshall Mathers raps, "Let's get down to business. I've got no time to play around what is this." You may be the senior man at work, but your wife is the Commander in Chief of the House or (CINCHOUSE). You say this because you believe in the immortal words of our 16th CINC, Abraham Lincoln when he said, "A house divided against itself is sure to fall." You also know that it's not always advisable to follow the advice of our 1st CINC because, "Honesty is (NOT) always the best policy." If you chop down a cherry tree, in order to preserve good order and discipline, you don't tell the truth. You blame it on the kids because if you don't, she might draft a Declaration of Independence, throw you in the harbor, and declare a revolution. You realize you have "No convening legal authority." If something goes wrong at home or a bill needs to be paid, Harry Truman summed it up best when he said, "The buck stops here." The buck always stops with you. You need to "Walk softly and carry a big stick," of money because if you don't she's not afraid to drop the bomb on you. Two, if she has to and you're liable to be put, not in the White House, but impeached to the dog house. All the while proclaiming like Nixon that, "I am not a crook," and "You won't have me to kick around anymore." It's at this stage you realize you serve at the discretion of the President and need to "Read her lips" and "Ask not what she can do for you but what you can do for her." There's no need to, "Tear down that wall." Do your best to fit into her "Great Society" because you won't be getting a "New Deal." You must sing, "Hail to the Chief" because in the immortal words of the great disco song, "She's a CINC ???..HOUSE!" What military men need to realize is when you get married you pledge an oath to support and defend the constitution, but she will amend your constitution? There will be no hearings, and there will be not one vote. She has the bully pulpit and the mandate. All you can do is cry to your buddies, "Man, this is an infringement upon my rites." There comes a time in every military man's career, usually the first day of boot camp or marriage when you realize you must "Obey the orders of the president and all officers (Her mother) appointed over me." Needless to say, as it pertains to the institution of marriage. I have decided not to be a lifer. Someday a recruiter might be able to sell me on a lifetime self-commitment to the CINCHOUSE, but for now I prefer to be a conscientious objector. 25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Here are just a few ways you might find yourself in need of a welding helmet: When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets. Some of the skeletons actually wear the jackets so they don't get cold. That may seem strange to people, but never has a skeleton complained to me... When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked forward to the spiritual journey that would define who I was as a person. But then I looked into my mirror and realized that the person I saw in that mirror was me. So I then figured, why spend all this time finding myself when I already know where I am?
|
|
|
|
|
