ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
A Bit Of Turbulence
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 1, 2002 I'm a 26-year-old flight attendant engaged to be married in 10 weeks. Our wedding reception was to be held in a marquee in my in-laws' garden. On Saturday night my future mother-in-law flipped out at my fiancé for wanting to marry me. On Sunday she verbally attacked me at their house. This woman, who is very unhappy with her husband, claims I am used goods, a gold digger, and not good enough for her son. My future father-in-law doesn't say much, as he can't handle his wife, but everyone else is happy for us. I have one disadvantage in that I met my fiancé through his youngest brother, who I dated briefly. Since we did not see any future in the relationship, we stayed friends. My fiancé, a lawyer, loves me very much and thanks his brother for introducing us! I come from a close loving family and find this very difficult. We've been engaged eight months, and everything seemed to be going well. I don't know what to do about our wedding. My fiancé would like to try for a reconciliation, but I don't know if I can forgive her after a scene full of such hatred. Marissa Marissa, as a flight attendant, you must have dealt with many angry, unhappy people. A delay at the ticket counter, a business deal gone awry, and you became a target. Your prospective mother-in-law is a bitter woman. She knows you are in no position to retaliate. You are like the employee of a business who must control her tongue before a rude customer. Only the owner of the business is free to say, "Go somewhere else!" Usually we recommend being forthright in stating feelings lest the person making the scene be allowed to win. However, in this case it may not be necessary. Everyone knows what the situation is. When you are around this woman, you can use the pleasant manner you use at work, play deaf, or give simple, factual responses. The most important thing is this. Your future mother-in-law must understand she is not the deciding factor in whether you marry her son. The sooner she understands she has no power to stop this, the better. You must also be prepared to move the wedding to another location, even at the last moment, if that becomes necessary. In one way, this situation is an excellent opportunity. It is a chance for your fiancé to demonstrate he is free from his mother's apron strings and ready to take a wife. Wayne & Tamara A Dubious Admission Please explain my wife's actions if you can. In 10 years of marriage we overcame many obstacles and roadblocks. Perhaps the largest one was my inability to come clean to my wife when I may have erred. Finally I took the major step forward she pleaded for so long. Should I not feel anger when she says now it's over and done with? Isn't this a case where the best thing is to let her go and get on with my life? Lewis Lewis, you're right. The best thing is to let her go and get on with your life. The saying which fits is "too little, too late." When you noticed some subtle change in your wife, unconsciously you knew she'd left the relationship emotionally, though she hadn't left physically. Only when she was halfway out the door could you admit you "may" have erred. You wouldn't change until it came down to your last chance, and you are mad she didn't warn you time was up. But the truth is if she wasn't leaving, you wouldn't consider change. If now she stayed, you'd think change was unnecessary. If you can't admit you're wrong, if you can't say you're sorry, chances are your life will repeat itself. When we can't admit our mistakes, the same mistakes keep happening. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Make Life Work: Repair the Relationship with Yourself What areas of your life are working well? Career? Finances? Accelerate Your Abilities In today's fast-paced life, the wins usually go to those with exceptional skills and abilities. The old quote is true, "The race is not always won by the swift and the strong, but that is the way to bet." Persistency - Element In Reality One of the keys to being successful in anything you do is persistence. Lets clarify the word 'persistence' :- It is ability to be persist on instances. And one of key element in this instances is your main Objective in life. Contemptable Temptation Let's look at the lesson we should all pay attention to in the Bible, the flight of the Israelites from Egypt. Was their escape through the Red Sea merely an exploit by God or was there some other signifigance to this act? The Road Not Taken Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 24, 2003 On Stand-by Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 28, 2003 Dreams Do Come True Experience has made a lot of folks to consider dreams to be fantasies, unattainable, galaxies away from reality. Inspiration: Some Things Ive Noticed Along the Way So Far Let's file this one under the heading of random musings and observations, or what I like to call "things I've noticed along the way so far." Follow Your Dreams: Believe In You What you believe in the inside, to a large extent determines how your life turns out. If you believe you cant, chances are, you are right. 3 Big Fat Lies that Deserve to Die Big Fat Lie 1: Your personality is formed and unchangeable by age 5 or 6 Experiences in My Life Prompted Me to Never Give Up Many people think that their life is a disaster that for some reason they cannot go on, they allow depression to creep in and continually give themselves negative bio-feedback. But you can over come and adapt and achieve anything you want in life. I did, let me tell you a real story from top of the world to the bottom and back on top again. It is a true story, one I will never forget. I hope to give you some inspiration today if you will allow me too. Win Your Own Lotto When people talk about enrichment, they are usually thinking of financial enrichment. (Show me the money!) But, we can enrich many other aspects of our lives too such as: spiritual, mental, physical, and social, as examples. Winning the multi-dollar lotto is not impossible, but are you spending your life waiting for your fortune to come to you? For those of you that feel powerless at work, you have more control over your destiny than you think you do. Hope For Those Sexually Abused As Children PART 1: Warning - This article may be inappropriate for younger readers. Please seek the permission of a parent or guardian before reading further. One Woman, One Leg, No Job What is social acceptance? Why is it so important? What can we do to overcome it? This inspirational story may change your attitude toward society and its evil un-acceptance and discriminations. Follow along as I give a detailed account of my experience with a life changing disability and the battle I continue to fight to gain acceptance and employment" 5 Things That Americans Can Do To Remember Reviving, Surviving and Thriving in the Wake of Sept 11 For those people who lost friends and loved ones in the September 11th World Trade Center attacks, the anniversary will re-open the wounds and renew the pain of great loss. For the rest of us, it is a painful reminder of our vulnerability. The anniversary renews our grief for the loss of security and innocence we enjoyed in peaceful times. How do we experience the anniversary of our greatest national disaster in a positive way? Talk about it with others. How far have we come? What have we learned? How are we feeling? as a country, and as individuals? Honor those we knew and loved who lost their lives. Write about them, look at the pictures again, and talk about them. Keep their memories alive openly. Be with your supporters, at home and away. Reconnect with the positive people in your life. Sharing with others always makes the burden lighter. Take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Do physical exercise? breath deeply and live fully. Do something you always wanted to do. Take a long walk. Turn your most negative experience to a positive, by giving to others. It is through giving that you will receive so much more in return. By helping others, anger and pain are transformed into power; the power to make our world better in the wake of crisis. Cheryl Perlitz ~ 2004 All Rights Reserved Hope in Humanity Let us renew our hope in humanity. It's so easy to lose faith when someone cuts us off on the highway, when a 'friend' blows us off (for the second time) and fails to show, when we get burned in a business deal, when a co-worker doesn't do what they said they were going to do, or when a colleague fails to keep their promise, etc. The Eyes of the Clown There are few enough miracles in life, God knows. I think perhaps the circus is one of them. We pay our money, braced for boredom, and are bombarded by noise, bewitched by beauty, awed still one more time by elephants that, yes, are smaller every year. Yet something happens when we enter the big top. If we let it, we will be carried back to hopes and dreams long surrendered: hopes that something wonderful really can happen, dreams that will happen to us, maybe even now. The TOP 5 Things That Keep You From Success Everyone wants to be rich. A lot of people want to be successful. Yet, only a few people are willing to pay the price. There is a price to success as there is a price to failure. Here are 5 reasons that keep people from accomplishing their dreams. The Nature of Anger Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. Burk Playing with Matches Matches are all about power; a new world opens up when you strike a match and see it burst into flames.
|
|
|
|
|
