ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
Opening the Heart and Exploring Beneath the Surface
Exploring beneath the surface of a reoccurring relationship issue can be tedious and scary. Seeing beyond a nagging health challenge to the 'deeper issue' requires courage, faith and trust. Unwanted feelings and thoughts are rich territory to dive beneath the surface for fresh insights that open the heart. When we take the time to peel away the layers that have us stuck or paralyzed we reap the benefits of self-acceptance, compassion, and liberation from fear. Let's look at what may be underneath a chronic response of anger. Chronic reactive angry responses can disrupt relationships, derail important business deals, and cause high blood pressure. Imagine for a moment that you are floating along on the ocean of feelings unwilling to accept that the choppy waves to your left signify anger. If you put on snorkeling gear and dive under them, you will see a whole new world. Beneath the anger you will most likely find a hurt or a fear. Complete the following sentences with yourself: **Each time I think of __________I get angry. **If I feel this anger, I'm afraid that ___________. **When I feel this anger, I am hurt about __________. Remember, avoid assigning personal meaning to these feelings. (I'm such a terrible person for feeling and thinking this way.) Just swim around with your snorkel securely in place, investigating the fear or hurt that lie beneath the anger. Surface briefly and reflect about the role your anger plays. Here are a few possibilities: **Anger is a shield that protects a part of me that feels afraid or hurt. **Anger is a red flag alerting me to the presence of fear or hurt. **Anger is a messenger. A part inside must feel afraid or hurt. Now take a deep breath and dive again, looking next to the fear or hurt for a judgment it may have spawned, such as the following: **If people knew I was afraid they would reject me. **I'm pathetic for being afraid of this. **Feeling hurt is weak and foolish. **Because I feel hurt I am unworthy of love. To further complicate opening our heart the mind adopts black and white thinking. Desperately needing to stay in control of life and make sense of the world, we resort to rejecting what we see as wrong (bad, inappropriate, immoral) and cling to what we see as right (good, appropriate, moral). When the heart opens, making sense of the world is not as important as being happy, finding lasting peace, feeling healthy and stress free, and getting a good night's sleep. Restraining from taking a position about the world, other's behavior, our performance at work allows the heart to thaw out revealing depths of information that quiets fear and loosens the grip of control. We then can live authentically rather than self-righteously. Questions for Letting Go of Black/White Thinking: 1.If I am judging my husband/wife/boss/ friend do I also judge myself in the same way? 2.Am I condemning my mistakes or lack of perfection because I am afraid of failing or being seen as a failure? 3.Do I judge anger (fear, sadness, caring, loving) as wrong in others because I see it as wrong in myself? 4.Do certain people get on my nerves because I'm afraid their behavior resembles my own? 5.If I want to be happy rather than right in this situation, what do I need to accept and forgive in myself? Snorkeling can open the mind to what is really going on in our ocean of feelings. But only self-acceptance can uncover these truths and open the heart. Then inner fears can be comforted and judgments forgiven. Compassion replaces blame and shame, and we discover a place of peace and well-being beyond the choppy surface waters. Next time there is a challenge we can don our snorkeling gear with the experience of knowing that what lies underneath our anxiety is a safe refuge ? our open, loving heart. ************************************** Rebecca Skeele, author of You Can Make It Heaven: How to Enrich Your Life with Abundance and Loving is an ordained minister. She has a MA in Spiritual Counseling and MSS in Spiritual Science. She has a private practice in Santa Fe as a life coach and counselor. Rebecca is an international workshop leader and speaker inspiring people to become masterful at cocreating their personal heaven on earth. http://www.makeitheaven.com
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Power of A.S.K.ing Have you ever had the opportunity to follow-up on a sales lead? Recently, I had such an opportunity to reconnect with an organization that I had been trying to secure as a client. Due to some new events and after multiple unreturned phone calls, I decided to ask for the decision maker within the department. After receiving the executive's name and finally making contact, I explained who I was, where I was from and how I could add value to their training request. A planned 5 minute telephone call turned into a 30 minute engaging dialogue where I learned even more about their needs and was asked in return if I had the experience to facilitate a second, separate engagement. A Feline Example On Courage Fangs. Killer claws. Hisses, grrrs...and later, yelps. Who is not familiar with cat-dog combats? It's a "hair-raising" party of limbs and tails and yes, the loser sheds most of the fur- mostly, the cat. Are You Tired of Being Stuck? All you want is a little more. The Road Not Taken Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 24, 2003 The Ant Philosophy Over the years I've been teaching kids about a simple but powerful concept - the ant philosophy. Body Calling: Eye Sight Cured Naturally Lorenzo C. an inspiring young teenager who fell to the inevitable statistics of a major automobile accident. A victim in the back seat of his family's car that had been involved in an accident and their car lost control and hit a tree, crushing down on Lorenzo's side of the vehicle and on Lorenzo. Rushed to emergency care Lorenzo survived but suffered severe eye damage. After many months in cosmetic reconstruction and surgery doctor's final diagnosis was poor, if not null and void. Lorenzo's father went to all levels of research and help to restore his son's eyesight, to no avail. Then one day the father ran into an old friend, Professional Golfer, Justin Morris, who suggested Lorenzo take vitamin nutritionals and supplementations and one specifically referred to as Visionex. Lorenzo began taking them with his meals daily as a regular course of action, pretty much auto-pilot. The Inspiration Factor The first thing that an aspiring leader must realize is that they must be inspiring! That is, they must be capable of, and willing to inspire people on to greater things than if the leader were not in their lives. Trust the Lord and Go to The Hole This is my new favorite quote. Now to understand it you must know what "go to the hole" means. Go to the hole is a basketball term for going forcefully to the basket to score a goal. It in essence means "Take it to 'em!" Entrepreneur and Mom When I was 12 years old, I had surgery with complications. I was told there was a chance I would not be able to have children. Growing up I could not imagine my life without children and worried about it often. When I got married close to my 21st birthday, my husband and I hoped that we would be lucky enough to have children. Luckily, I found out I was pregnant almost a year later. However, soon after the great news, I got very sick. I was working full time at a corporate travel agency and I could not work. My doctor told me that I had to take care of myself or I would be at risk to lose my baby. My employer got very nasty with me and was not compassionate about my sickness. I almost lost my job, but my doctor was able to get me medical leave from the family leave act. The experience was horrible. I vowed to never have to choose between my career and the health of my baby. I began to look for ways to work from home. I tried Mary Kay Cosmetics but I was terrible at it. It didn't feel comfortable and I really had nothing to make me want to be successful. I Hate My Computer and Other Inspirational Thoughts The New Year has not started out very well for Yours Truly. After the first day of the new year, my life went south for the rest of the winter. All I can say is, I hope it has a wonderful winter, and don't forget to write. Begin With the End In Mind - Tips to Make Your Life More Meaningful What would you change if you knew you would be dead in 1 day? Would you spend more time at work, pouring over budget figures, and trying to figure out how you were going to make this quarter's numbers? Would you read just 1 more e-mail from a complaining co-worker? Would you check your voicemail one last time? What would your obituary say about your life? Discover The Magic Of Doing What You Love Do what you love to do and give it your very best. Whether it's business or baseball, or the theater, or any field. If you don't love what you're doing and you can't give it your best, get out of it. Life is too short. You'll be an old man before you know it.~ Al Lopez Big-Wave Mindfulness: Surfing For A Connection Surfing is mindfulness in action. Riding the biggest waves is an all-out, fully-present-or-die-trying proposition. Happy Ending I'm writing to you with a completely shattered heart. I've known my wife for over five years, and we got married last August. It was a fairy tale wedding, everything we always wanted, with about 200 guests. Everyone said by the look on our faces they knew we were in love. Those Who Sleep Get Sliced Chang lived in Flushing, Queens. Every afternoon he rode the train into Manhattan to work in the post office. At the end of his shift he would ride the train back, at well after midnight. Addicted To Her Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 4, 2003 The Eyes of the Clown There are few enough miracles in life, God knows. I think perhaps the circus is one of them. We pay our money, braced for boredom, and are bombarded by noise, bewitched by beauty, awed still one more time by elephants that, yes, are smaller every year. Yet something happens when we enter the big top. If we let it, we will be carried back to hopes and dreams long surrendered: hopes that something wonderful really can happen, dreams that will happen to us, maybe even now. Its The Journey, Not The Destination Don't you just hate clichés like the one illustrated in the headline of this article? I know I do. But love them or hate them, most of us must admit that such adages and clichés are often grounded in truth, and this one is no different. Wake-Up Call Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 7, 2002 The Power of Gratitude When my older son was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, my first reaction was relief ? I finally knew the reason for his behavior. However, I was also overwhelmed with sadness, fear and anger. I felt sorry for my son and for myself. Like many others in similar circumstances, my question to God was "Why me?"
|
|
|
|
|
