ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
Eight Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage
1) Write a mission statement: Most brides spend more time planning for their wedding day than for the marriage itself and are unprepared for what happens after the "I do." More than half of newlyweds will struggle to maintain a fraction of the friendship they now enjoy with their spouse. Lack of a realistic vision of how married life will be or a plan to help this vision manifest is the first mistake many new brides make. If you and your mate have been functioning without written objectives, you must come together and create a concise set of goals for your family unit and institute a plan of action to achieve these goals. An individual goal should never undermine or take precedence over a mutual goal. You must train yourself to think, work and play as a team. Selfish behavior is like poison to any marriage and helps to guarantee a quick demise. 2) Don't withhold sex from your mate: Married men resent when women use sex as a bargaining chip and make them feel that lovemaking is something they have to earn. Over a long period of time, this type of manipulation can prove disastrous. When you enter into matrimony you are agreeing to be solely responsible for fulfilling your husband's sexual needs, unless you are a swinger. Men have no problem separating their emotions from their physical desires, which is why they still expect hot sex after a heated argument. 3) Don't compete with the people/things that he loves: So ? you've always hated his pesky childhood friend who is constantly around or his love affair with Play Station 2, but you're holding your peace until after the big day. Huge mistake! Never wait until after the wedding to start a turf war with the things or people your husband loves. Instead, you should be making plans on how you can incorporate them into your life in a way that both you and your husband can appreciate. Perhaps his pesky best friend is talented with wood work and can help you restore a family heirloom, or maybe you can convert the bedroom into a scene from a Play Station 2, complete with interesting bonus points. Whatever you decide, remember that your husband is a grown man and not a child; you cannot choose his friends or predilections. As problems arise in your marriage, search for solutions that bring you closer together and not drive you apart. 4) Plan ahead: Small things make a big difference and will help to determine if your husband enjoys the prospect of getting out of bed and starting another day with you. What is the atmosphere in your home in the morning? Is there peace or is there confusion? Does your day begin with disorganization or is your home running like a well-constructed device. Unnecessary drama can be avoided with organization. As your marriage evolves and expands to include children or aging parents, good organizational skills will be paramount to your relationships success. Careful thought should go into the daily atmosphere within your home. It is a refuge and sanctuary for your man or a place from which to retreat? 5) Find an experienced mentor and confidant: The intimate details of your relationship with your spouse should only be shared with a trusted few. The women you meet in church are no exception to this rule. Anyone can be tempted when given enough information and ammunition. And many husbands have been led astray inside the house of the Lord. Find an older more experienced couple to mentor you and your mate. Plan a monthly activity with your mentors when possible. Don't discuss your man or marriage with your girlfriends who do not like your spouse or with your girlfriends who are angry with men in general. This almost guarantees that you will receive tainted advice. Seek out positive supporters who can encourage you. Remember that an ally builds and an adversary destroys. 6) Leave the past behind: Everyone brings a little baggage from their past relationships, but this needs to be kept to a minimum. Think travel bag and not suitcase. The past should be used only as a guide to reflect on the victories you've one, the obstacles you've overcome and the lessons you've learned amidst your failures. Do not wallow in the past or on past offences. Do not spend time obsessing on past relationships, or worse, obsessing on the past relationships of your spouse. After all, he chose you. 7) Never fake an orgasm: Why do this? Really? I'm intrigued about the type of woman who pretends her husband is getting her off when he is not. I think faking an orgasm is a cop out for those who lack the communications skills or experience necessary to convey what they really want. This is a deceitful practice and it ensures that your husband will remain at a disadvantage through the duration of your marriage. It can also cause you to have a wandering eye. If your mate does not sexually fulfill you, as you would like, find a constructive way to tell him. You should be able to convey exactly where the problem lies and how the problem can be corrected. Many women do not realize that they are putting their mates at a disadvantage if they are relying solely on his previous experience. Take time to explore your own body and be able to communicate what you have learned. If you don't know what you want, why should he? 8) Be quick to offer forgiveness: An unforgiving spirit will devastate any relationship. Mercy is not based on merit but on the condition of your heart. You either choose to extend it or you don't. Once you have offered forgiveness to your mate, never bring up his past offences in a future argument. Old wounds continually reopened can't heal. Sought-after relationship coach and motivational speaker Xxavier T. is the author of Treat Your Man Like A V.I.P.: Topless Tactics You Were Never Taught. Xxavier holds a degree in psychology from Southern University at New Orleans, but maintains that the majority of her expertise is based on the first principal of discovery ?observation. Xxavier writes a romance column for Offline Magazine that can also be accessed via the internet at http://neworleansblack.com/romance/index.php or browse Xxavier's book at http://centurionhouse.net/browse_book.htm
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Indian Astrology and Marriages Astrology is considered to be the oldest of all sciences, which studies the effects of the planetary positions and movements on our lives. Indian Astrology is an integral aspect of the Vedic literature (Vedic Astrology) and was practiced over the years by Indian sages and passed on to their disciples. In olden days, the kings would depend on astrology to determine the right and auspicious time before embarking on any new and important initiatives. Ages later, today, we still find the strong influence of astrology in our day-to-day life. Any major event in life, whether it is marriage, buying a car, buying a house, or even entering a new house, is undertaken only after consulting the astrologer for an auspicious time. Bachelorette Parties: Fun Alternatives to a Wild Night If bar-hopping and male strippers aren't the bride's idea of a fun time, perhaps you should reconsider her bachelorette party festivities. (I know, I know...bachelorette parties are a great reason to plead temporary insanity.) But don't despair! There are lots of fun ways to celebrate the bride's final moments of her single life. Planning your Weddings Decoration Budget When it comes to your decorating budget it really depends on where the ceremony and reception will be on what decorations need to be present as well as what if any; themes that you are choosing. Wedding Planning: Benefits of Online Wedding RSVPs Want to manage your wedding guests with style and ease? Forget about multiple checklists and trying to decipher the illegible handwriting sent in by your wedding guests. The days of sorting through scattered mail-back response cards and calculating, then recalculating your guest counts are gone. Thanks to the internet, there's a better way to approach the entire RSVP process for your wedding! Have a Garden Theme Dream Wedding You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall, a gazebo, acres of fragrant jasmine and honeysuckle, and even a small, clear pond. Now it's time to take the garden wedding of your dreams a little further. Let's start with invitations. Celtic Wedding Rituals -- Tying the knot One of the most elegant rituals you can choose for a wedding is the traditional Celtic hand fasting. After the vows, the bride and groom's wrists are bound together with five colored ribbons, each symbolizing an aspect of marriage and their shared commitment. It is a long standing Celtic tradition that is still quite popular, and happens to be the origin of the expression "tying the knot" which has grown to mean getting married. Though this tradition is a lovely and meaningful tradition, many other Celtic wedding traditions have not aged as gracefully. Toss a Garter or Two The tempo of the music begins to rise. Drums begin to throb. The bride and groom rise. Yet another ritual begins. Removing the garter from the bride's usually hidden leg. How to Choose a Marriage Counselor You have made the decision to contact a marriage counselor. The next question is "How to choose the right marriage counselor?" The success of your counseling experience will relate directly to your compatibility with your counselor. Anniversary Gift Guide An anniversary gift is the opportunity to show your loved one precisely how much they mean to you and how special you think they are. Fabulous Wedding Favors For Every Budget Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower, wedding reception, or wedding related gathering. There are thousands of things to pick from when it comes to wedding favors and the message you want to convey. They can be edible items, keepsakes or just small reminders from your big day for your guests. Unique Mens Wedding Bands; For When Common Won?t Do Wedding rings are a symbol of union. A union between a man and a woman. Wedding Invitatation RSVP Cards When it comes to response/RSVP cards, the goal is to get a response. Whether selecting a card with a self-addressed, either by hand or computer printed labels, and pre-stamped envelope or an economic post card with your address on one side and the guest response on the other, do what works best for you. Sending Out Your Wedding Invitations It really doesn't matter if you are planning to have a large or a small wedding; you still have to send out invitations. For larger wedding parties, you should buy your invitations at bulk party stores, or wedding warehouses in order to get the best buy for your money. Of course, you can always choose to make your own invitations which is also nice and unique. Wedding Favors - How to Graciously Thank Your Wedding Guests Thank You, Merci, Arigatou, Gracias, Xie-Xie? What Is A Destination Wedding Favor? Have you heard of destination wedding favors? I haven't either, so, I have taken it upon myself to pioneer this phrase. Destination weddings, destination wedding dresses, and now, "destination wedding favors". I like it! Wedding Photography - Tips for a Wonderful Session Every couple wants wonderful photos of their wedding day that capture the celebration, details, romance and beauty. Here are a few tips for a successful photo session: Wedding Save the Date Cards?Best Ideas and Wording The sole purpose of save-the-date cards is to give the people you intend to invite to your wedding plenty of advance notice. If, for example, you are planning to marry during the holiday season or a holiday weekend, you'll want your guests to reserve you wedding date on their calendars months in advance. If you will be inviting guest from out of town who will need to fly in for the wedding, they will need time to make the necessary travel arrangements. How To Keep Love Growing Through All The Ups And Downs The relationship expert on i.village.com, I am the author of many books on relationships and Zen including Living By Zen, (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life), www.livingbyzen.com Some other books of mine include Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon And Schuster), Zen Miracles (Finding Peace In An Insane World), Wiley, and Why Men Leave, (Putnam), What He Can't Tell You And Needs To Say, (Putnam). How to Save Money on Wedding Photography All brides want that one photograph that perfectly captures the wedding day. But to get it, you have to hire a skilled photographer--and unfortunately, they usually cost several thousand dollars. Here are some tips to cropping your photography budget down to size: Eight Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage 1) Write a mission statement:
|
|
|
|
|
