ComputerHunter.org |
|
|
|||
|
 |
Feelings and Attitudes
Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how we respond? Does the person experiencing them have any choice in the matter? What if they are in conflict? Feelings are what they are. We can't force them. The phrase "I can't help how I feel" keeps rattling around in my head as I write this. There is no magical way to change how we feel. They aren't right or wrong, they just exist. Feelings are very powerful and definitely have a control over how we make choices and how we move through life. We will do almost anything to avoid feeling bad. Think about the money, time, and focus we put into trying to feel good and avoiding feeling bad. That's not a bad thing, it's the nature of feelings. It goes against human nature to want to feel bad. Feelings are based in emotions. Emotions come from the heart. Therefore, I don't think we can change them from within our logical minds. If your favorite pet dies, then you feel sad. You cannot be expected to simply stop feeling sad. You will feel some level of sadness until you have finished feeling sad. It is possible to distract yourself for awhile, but the feelings will just lay dormant until you allow them time to fully run their course. There's nothing wrong with wanting to distract yourself from the bad feelings of missing your pet, but it will slow down the process. There are constructive things you can do to aid the processing of your feelings. Regardless of how you handle your feelings, you're going to feel what you feel until it works it's way through your heart. You might always miss that pet and feel a slight tug at your heart when you think back, but the overwhelming sadness will eventually pass. It always does. That's why they say 'time heals all wounds.' You can't maintain any one feeling indefinitely. Emotions by nature are shifting and uncontrollable. They simply are what they are. What about our attitudes? An entire multi-million dollar industry has been built around the power of a positive attitude. The industry wouldn't have survived and thrived as it has if it wasn't a valid and real concept. Our attitudes are rooted in our belief systems. Our belief systems are chosen by our logical minds. Therefore, it is possible to make a conscious decision to change it. Our minds have complete and total control over what we believe. I don't think I need to bore you with another longwinded speech about the powers of a positive attitude. If you've ever tried it, then you have proven for yourself that it is possible to make an internal adjustment regarding your attitude. So, which is stronger? Which has more influence over our choices and behaviors? Does one overpower the other? Let's say that you find yourself falling madly head over heals in love with someone. That's a feeling, an emotion. It comes from your heart. However, at the same time, you are entertaining a very pessimistic attitude towards love and relationships in general. The attitude comes from your mind. Which will win out, the feelings of falling in love or the dark attitude? It's hard to say. If you change your attitude, then the feelings of being in love can grow and perhaps become a wonderful source of joy for you. If you hold on tightly to your attitude, then eventually it will wear on the loving feelings and you will eventually stop loving that other person. What if the feelings of love were so amazingly powerful, that they caused the attitude to change and your core belief system about love and relationships changed too? Your feelings can definitely have an effect on your attitude, but your attitude wins out more often. Your attitude is not more powerful because it's more important than your feelings. It's more powerful because it's more stubborn than your feelings. Let's look again at our example where the feelings are positive and the attitude is negative. We've seen people fall madly in love with someone who loved them in return. These same people had bad attitudes about love and relationships in general. Their feelings were not able to overpower their attitude. They believe 'it's never going to work out anyway' and create a self-fulfilling prophecy. By not believing in love, they destroy their good relationship and then feel hurt by the failed relationship. Their minds take that as evidence to further continue with the negative attitude regarding love. The same dynamic holds true regardless of topic. The reason the attitude wins the battle more often then our feelings is because feelings are ever-changing and flexible while attitudes are often locked into place and become an unmovable force. What if the feelings were bad and the attitude was good? If you felt afraid that you might fail at your goals, but you had a positive attitude and deep down you believed in yourself, then you could choose to keep moving forward despite your feelings of fear. Your attitude would win out over your feelings once again. If your feelings and attitudes match, then you have an inner balance and harmony within yourself. Isn't this the age-old battle between heart and head? Attitude comes from your head and feelings come from your heart. When the two agree you are able to focus and move forward with confidence. When the two are at war you have to decide which is right? the heart's feelings or the head's attitude? Perhaps in sitting quietly and looking inward at our feelings and attitudes from a detached perspective, we can evaluate and chose for ourselves on a case-by-case basis which one should lead us, our feelings or our attitudes. Copyright 2003, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge About The Author Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to spirituality, motivation, and inspiration in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, motivation, and parenting. More of her articles can be found at www.tomorrowsedge.net as well as free previews of her books.
Google News - Top Stories
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Heal and Release the Past I had a completely different idea for my main article but certain events that happened today helped me to tune into my soul and listen for what I really want to write about. Improve Your Relationships Instantly Discover how easy it is to improve your relationships. The following relationship advice will encourage people to help you willingly and cheerfully. It just takes one easy communication skill, and two magic words. Have a Present Moment! It was the 10th day of rain, and I walked into the pool locker room feeling a little soggy around the edges. I asked my pool friend, Laurie, how she was and she said, "Bright and cheery. It's a wonderful day and I'm going to accomplish a lot of good things." Laurie, who is recovering from hip surgery and on most days can be seen walking around the locker room with great care, wiggled her cane at me from under the shower. Negative Thoughts to Positive Thoughts Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Thoughts is a key lesson to becoming healthy and successful. What You Can Do As A Non-Raging Mate To Either Fix The Relationship Or Forget It (The following is an actual email conversation between Newton Hightower, Director of The Center for Anger Resolution, Inc., and "Betty" the girlfriend of a rageaholic.) White Sun: How to Cultivate Ones Body Drinking damages the soul; being lustful damages the vitality; greed damages the virtues; anger damages the liver; smoking damages the spirit. These are the five poisons between Heaven and Earth. The world is polluted with these five filthy elements. Heaven has the spirit of the five fundamental elements and Earth has the characters of the five fundamental elements. Building Unshakeable Self Confidence! One of things that Charismatic people share is an unshakeable self confidence. It comes from deep within and it's the knowing that everything will be okay. It's a faith that their life is going somewhere and it has purpose. These people often are the ones that everyone notices when they walk in the room. They magically attract people to them in a social environment and everyone stops to listen to them in a business meeting. Everyone knows they mean business and what they have to say is going to be important. How To Stay Positive In spite of The Negativity Around You I'm often asked how it is that I stay so positive. Now allow me to clear up some misconceptions you might have based on that last statement. I am not one of those folks that walk around with what is commonly referred to as a career politician's smile painted across my face. Succeed with a Positive Mental Attitude "Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." ? Thomas Jefferson How to Stay Motivated Despite Negative People Getting motivated is sometimes easy enough to do, at least for short periods of time, but staying motivated can be a lot harder to do. Mindfulness: Youre Soaking In It! Looking for a bit more mindfulness in your daily life? Relax. You're soaking in it! Not A Negative Thought! Turn negative thoughts into positive ones. Perfect to the Penny At some point in our careers, we may find ourselves part of an obsolete operation, such as a downsizing, business insolvency, or even a single retail store closing. 3 Proven Ways To Build Self-Esteem When someone thinks of a person with self-esteem most people think of someone who has a positive attitude. While someone who generally has self-esteem could have a positive attitude, this is not what I am referring to. Self-Confidence Sliding Downward! There are times in all of our lives where our self-confidence wanes!! This past week was one of those weeks for me. I questioned the work I was doing, both on the web sites and on our crafts. I found myself wondering if all my time and effort was worthwhile. Would our newfound business provide the income we needed? Is my work good enough for others to want to buy or to read? These are only a few of the questions that ran through my mind. And, with every question, my self-confidence was sliding downward! How To Self Talk Your Way To Success? Dear Friends, Garbage Words In - Garbage Thinking Out "At birth, a baby's brain contains 100 billion neurons, roughly as many nerve cells as there are stars in the Milky Way," according to an article Time magazine. Theres No Negative In My Program - Part 2 Well you know about the young hero who saved his brother, but that was just the beginning of the incredible feats of these young men. Life Is Not Always Fair I once heard the story of a grown bear that lived in a cage and traveled with a circus ever since he was a small cub. The bear spent everyday of his life pacing back and forth in his cage while countless spectators looked on. When the bear's keepers were not looking some of the spectators would poke the bear with sharp sticks or would throw pieces of food filled with broken glass into the cage. When the great bear would eat what he thought was a wonderful treat, the broken glass would cut the inside of his throat and stomach. Develop Yourself - The Power Within Living without limits. Living your life to the fullest. Living with happiness. Living your dreams. Living free from fear and worry. You have the power to live your life any way you want.
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by John S. Baick
